A critique and new version of the Wong-Baker Pain Faces Scale

I'm passing along this excellent critique and suggestion from Allie at Hyperbole and a Half: Hyperbole and a Half: Boyfriend Doesn't Have Ebola. Probably. *UPDATED*

We're all familiar with the Wong-Baker Pain Faces Scale.

But as our Hyperbolic critic notes, this is easily misunderstood. For example, she interprets it as

0: Haha! I'm not wearing any pants!

2: Awesome! Someone just offered me a free hot dog!

4: Huh. I never knew that about giraffes.

6: I'm sorry about your cat, but can we talk about something else now? I'm bored.

8: The ice cream I bought barely has any cookie dough chunks in it. This is not what I expected and I am disappointed.

10: You hurt my feelings and now I'm crying!

Thus she has come up with a better scale:



Which she interprets as:

0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I don't know why I'm even here.

1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

2: I probably just need a Band Aid.

3: This is distressing. I don't want this to be happening to me at all.

4: My pain is not fucking around.

5: Why is this happening to me??

6: Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7: I see Jesus coming for me and I'm scared.

8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help.

9: I am almost definitely dying.

10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.

Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola. It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.

I expect to see this written up in Pain shortly.

Why papercuts hurt so damn much

During my bimonthly rereading of Price's Psychological Mechanisms of Pain and Analgesia, I ran across this in the middle of a discussion of the relationship between tissue damage and pain intensity:

the rate of tissue damage is a direct function of protein in activation that, in turn, is a function of temperature. However, the amount of tissue damage is a function of both skin temperature and duration of stimulation. Since heat-induced pain depends only on the temperature attained by the cells of the skin and on duration of stimulation, pain intensity follows the rate of tissue damage and not its total amount. One consequence of this phenomenon is that some extensive wounds may be less painful than slight wounds. Pain from tissues that have suddenly become inflamed, such as a toothache, is an example." [Page 11; italics original]